Resume Fun

When I started this blog back in September of last year, one of my earliest posts was about the trails and errors of job hunting (Resume). I had just moved back to the Chicago area and was spending hours at a time every day searching and applying for various jobs that I thought I would like and could be good at. I don't think there is anything as tedious and boring as applying for jobs, and yet, the activity still manages to make you nervous and tense the entire time. After spending an hour filling out a long application and re-typing everything that was on my resume into their website form, I had a thought. What if I sent in a brutally honest resume? What if, instead of trying to make my high school job at a grocery store sound more glamorous than it really was, I just told it like it was?

Now that I have a job, I figured it would be a fun little experiment to actually send out this honest resume to a few select companies in the Chicago area (that I plan on never actually trying to work for), just to see what kind of response I get. So without further ado.... here are the results:

Job #1

Convention Services Coordinator

Westin Hotel

This was the job description from their website:

"Come exhilarate your senses with the Westin Lombard Yorktown Center! We are currently looking for a fun and upbeat candidate to join our Meetings and Events Department. The Coordinator for Meetings and Events will detail group events and supports and assists designated managers or departments in daily administrative duties.  The person who will fills this important role will be responsible for interacting with guests, clients, and associates to ensure excellent guest service and to communicate the goals of the department and needs of clients. The ideal candidate will be an organized, personable and enthusiastic individual that keeps confidentiality as the highest priority.  Other responsibilities may include but are not limited to:  receiving incoming calls, handling guest and associate requests,  maintaining various tracking and filing systems, acting as a liaison between departments, generating reports and creating presentations.  This position is critical to the successful operation of the department as well as the hotel and is a key factor in contributing to a professional environment."

I applied to a variety of jobs using this resume and the Westin was kind of my high end company to test out. I felt like maybe they could appreciate the humor as something creative and fun and I paired it with a professional, business standard cover letter. 

Although they didn't seem to find this too amusing, at least I got a response (however bland and generic it may be):

Dear Jenna Letzter,

Thank you again for your interest in Starwood. As you know, we received your application forConvention Services Coordinator - 20149682. We regret to inform you that we are not able to offer you a position at this time.

We appreciate your interest in Starwood, and wish you good luck and success in your job search.  We invite you to visit us at www.starwood.jobs to view and apply for future opportunities.

Regards,

Human Resources Department

Job #2

Market Asset Protection Manager

Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

With a strike out on Job #1, I tried to go for a company that may not be as posh as a Westin Hotel, but still was a big business with a lot of jobs available. As before, I took a swing at sending this resume just too see if they would find it creative and/or amusing, but I had lower hopes of actually getting a response. 

This was the position description from their website:

Position Description	Coordinates, completes, and oversees job-related activities and assignments for asset protection Develops talent in the assigned business area Drives safety results across the facilities Ensures facilities in the business area are prepared for crises Meets expected facility level shrink goals Minimizes financial risk Provides supervision and development opportunities for associates

I was surprised when I actually got a response back (once again, generic and bland), but it was a response! I like how this one is very cordial and encourages you to keep looking for opportunities within the company, and ends with a "do not reply to this email" at the end. It's like, we are here to encourage and uplift you, but don't actually try to contact us again.

Dear Jenna Letzter,

Thanks for your interest in joining the Walmart/Sam's Club team. At this time, we're considering other candidates for the following position: 282690BR, Market Asset Protection Mgr -Joliet, IL, located in PLAINFIELD, IL. 

We encourage you to visit www.walmart.com/careers again and take advantage of our search tool. It will help you find other Walmart opportunities that best match your unique qualifications. 

Thanks again.

* Please do not reply to this email. 

Job #3

Graybar Electric

Customer Service Representative

I chose company #3 more so because of the position available, rather than the company itself. I figured a customer service representative would have to have good humor in order to deal with cranky customers all day. 

The key word I took from the job description on their website was, "enthusiastic:" 

"Graybar is looking for talented, enthusiastic people to help us maintain the highest levels of customer satisfaction in every area of our business. We are a Company that recognizes talent and provides the opportunity for training and development for your career growth."

Sadly, it has been several months and still no reply from Graybar. So much for customer service...

Job #4

The Onion

Web Video - Writing/Research Internship

For Job #4, I was certain I was going to get a call back or at least an email acknowledging that my resume was kind of funny. Heck, with a company like The Onion, I was half expecting to actually get the job. I mean, isn't the whole purpose of The Onion about satire and making important or mundane things ridiculous? As with the other jobs, I still added a cover letter that was on a more serious and professional note, with the idea being the cover letter showing I actually have the skills needed for the job and the resume kind of showing off my more creative side. Add on that this position is for an internship and I was certain that this company, out of all of them, would at least give me a chuckle.

 For those of you who don't read The Onion, here is their company description from their website:

"Onion Inc. is an American multimedia news organization. It features satirical articles and reporting on international, national, and local news as well as an entertainment newspaper and website known as A.V. Club.

The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and imagined. It parodies traditional newspaper and media features, such as editorials, man-on-the-street interviews, and stock quotes, as well as traditional newspaper layout and AP-style editorial voice. Much of its humor depends on presenting everyday events as newsworthy items, and by playing on commonly used phrases, as in the headline, "Drugs Win Drug War”."

This, out of all the companies I applied for, was the most disappointing that I did not receive a response back. I guess The Onion doesn't appreciate humor as much as I was expecting.

Job #5

Jimmy John's

Sandwich Slinger

Job #5 was my final chance - when I saw the job wanted ad, I thought it would be perfect! I feel like I don't even need to explain why I thought this job and my resume would be a good match, just read the job description from their website and everything makes sense:

Rock Star Wanted 

"Are you a Rock Star?! Jimmy John's is growing fast and our team is always looking for hard-working people who crave the world's greatest gourmet sandwiches. And we're not talking success as in "shiny new car" success - we're talking success as in "position of power in a worldwide sandwich empire" success. When you join the Jimmy John's family, anything is possible. It really doesn't matter if you're a delivery driver or a corporate honcho. If you're an entrepreneurial type who's got a strong sense of responsibility and a sense of humor to match, Jimmy John's offers awesome opportunities for growth and adventure. Sandwich Slinger We need people who have an upbeat attitude, readiness to smile and the desire to kick some a$$ and take names, or at least, sandwich orders! In-Shop Sandwich Makers are responsible for the successful execution of fast, accurate sandwiches and world-class customer service while maintaining a clean, organized shift. Afternoon and Evening shifts available."

Jimmy John's has always portrayed itself as a hip, fun place to work and I figured they would like a hip, fun resume.... But not so much, I didn't even get a generically bland response! Nothing! Oh well, with this dismal no response, I called an end to my resume experiment. I was going to apply for some more, but filling out job applications online really is not fun at all - especially when you are only doing it for "fun." I could only make myself apply to so many before I wanted to cry. 

Although I tweaked my cover letters to fit in with the job, perhaps I should try to tweak the resume a bit to fit in even more with each job. Or perhaps funny just isn't the way to go when you are applying for a job.....